What is eternal love?
The hopeless romantic in me believes deep down that there is a love for each person. A true love that will strengthen with time and withstand the unexpected and ugliness. A love that allows you to grow as your own person and together as life-long companions. A love that is so pure it will grant you freedom. A freedom to reject pride, accept humility, and give yourself unselfishly - completely.
The reality is though, I really don't know what eternal love is... day to day we live and we love and we learn. And sometimes when we look back at our past relationships and we wonder. I wonder about the decisions I have made and the thoughts that led me to make certain decisions. This is what came to me in the car ride leaving Agra heading back to Delhi. I randomly started running through the memories of my first love, the one I thought would be forever, the one I loved so much it hurt... I wondered if I had done something different, would we still be together now? How would I be, who would I be? You know, those kind of questions... where you know better but still wonder. I thought about the few I have been lucky enough to have loved and why things ended up the way that it did. Was it me? Or was it simply that I haven't met my right match? Not the right time?
As of this point, I feel that I hold no notion of what it should mean or what it means to me. Like a blank slate... I guess like our b&b owner said this morning, "the more you go through life, the less you will know!" This is so true and it applies to love too, I feel.
The lessons and relationships I have had, makes me feel as though I really don't know anything at all. You could have asked me 10 years back what I wanted and I could have summed up a good substantial list of character things that I wanted. But now, I couldn't even begin to say. Is it me losing hope or is it me too afraid to continue to hope. I mean, does it have to be so hard.
Can't it simply be that I want to love and be loved?
Call it eternal love if you want, who knows really if it can truly transcend time...
In the end, perhaps... there is such a thing? This eternal love. I mean, I did sit at the Taj Mahal and the feelings of love did stir in my heart. As if the beauty of "their" love glowed from the precious white marble adorned with rare rubies and sapphires. Or is it just like that, precious and rare?
I don't know, you tell me. Maybe you can help me understand this thing called love...
Oh Michele, Michele. If only I could explain love. But it's been so long I can't quite remember ;)
ReplyDeleteI do think everything happens for a reason. So never feel that you should have done something different. Who knows, if you had done something different you probably wouldn't be on the amazing journey you are on now. Maybe we wouldn't have even met?! Now that's a scary thought! :O
Travel safe, miss ya!
wow... michelle, very introspective. I went to india a few yrs ago with similar questions. I found the answer to be inside one self. You don't look for "someone" to complete "you" in your life... you will only feel true completion in yourself... True happiness is something no one can take from you, happiness with oneself. That is the pathway to enlightenment. Each journey is individual and solo. I guess that's what i learned from a monk in Dharmasala
ReplyDeleteA Dalia lama once told me, of course there is Eternal Love!! Think of a mother's love for her child, she would die to protect her baby... That is eternal. We all have mothers... and maybe hope to be mothers as well
julie