In the last few months, weeks, and days before this trip, I found myself so "busy" and I thought to myself how easy it was in the midst of our lives to allow this "busy" to fill our days. In this particular moment for me, this reality was very clear and I made it a point to not let it consume me. Even though I had a lot to do and take care of before I left, I really wanted to spend time with friends and family. Simply soak in whatever quality time I can get.
The realization that my path will soon lead me to a new city upon my return really began to take hold. Not only will I be leaving for this 3 month trip, I will return to something completely different from what I have called home for the last few years. Yes, I have been craving for this fresh start... because my time in LA has been a chapter that has presented many challenges to me, some that I have overcome and others that will continue to test me...
But for now in this moment, as this chapter comes to an end, certain thoughts have resonated with me... it is so easy to take for granted the people in our lives when our days are filled the "busy." This dawned on me as I was having to say my goodbyes and farewells... I guess something about an ending, a closing, or a conclusion makes you realize that whatever it is -- you may never return to the same exact moment in time or exact same experience ever again because that is simply how life is. Always flowing, always changing... and because of this I pause and reflect so that I can appreciate. The other realization is why wait to count your blessings. Why wait til you meet an ending to something before you tell the people in my life how important they are to you? But I hope to try harder. Because you can never predict what life will be like.
Such as my unexpected friendships I have made in LA, these friends have given me with sweet colorful memories in a chapter that I felt was very gray and sometimes even dark. I know that I am lucky to have met such good people that have become really good friends to me. I know it cheesy to say, but these friends have truly given me joy and filled my days with sunshine. I am grateful for that.
Then there are my dearest and oldest friends, whom have been there for me always... this is foundation. The support that I can always rely on gives me the stability that I need. Strength I can draw from and security that allows me to push beyond my limits.
Finally my family, the unconditional love. Regardless of my past mistakes or my decisions moving forward, they still feed me! :) I know they love me in the quiet unspoken ways that is my family. My uncle and aunt even tried to give me some money, but really the only gift I needed was the awkward embrace I walked away with.
Why is it so awkward and so hard sometimes to tell the people you care about how much they really mean to you. I don't know. But I do know I need to try harder and not let the "busy" get in the way of spending more of my waking hours with the relationships I cherish most. And try even harder to express and share with them the appreciation I hold for them in my heart.
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